(This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental)

(There are no political or religious topic in this whatsoever, this is a silly documentary I made only for shits and giggles like South Park)

The Documentary of Vurbank

Chapter 1: Born from A Sun

A long time ago before Jesus Christ was born, God created hydrogen and helium which then had a threesome with the electrons to form gas. And the gas fucked the gravity to form the sun. but one day the sun was minding its on stuff until God looks at her and says “you get to supernova a ditto” he says. “What is a ditto?” the sun exclaims but God t pose away to another star, waiting for it to go supernova. 

About 1 trillion years later, the sun supernova itself and gives birth to whole new stuff such as earth. Until it finally poops out the ditto aka Vurbank. He safely lands on earth like superman and is raised by dinosaurs. Teaching him Music. Vurbank was madly in love with the new talent he was acquired that he wrote diss tracks to his dinosaur bullies at the age of 3. Until during one of his diss tracks, a meteorite by the name of Chicxulub murdered his entire family by the age of 6 and swears by his life to find the meteorite until he dies and decides to write a song called “I hate you meteorite, please die” to remember his promise.

Chapter 2: The Jomom Killer

Vurbank lived through the entirety of mankind (as he is a demi-God), being a cultural icon in the renaissance period with his sick beats, surviving 40 nukes from the Soviet Union after he was trying to impersonate as the inspector from Papers, please, and finding Chicxulub and killing him before the other scientists find him. 

Life was peaceful at last; now being adopted at the age of 8. His new parents reminded him of his dinosaur parents but it was short-lived however when they were both murdered by The Jomom Killer; the Zodiac Killer’s protégé. Having lost two parents already, he was sent to an orphanage but he managed to escape by reading a book called “Locks and How to Pick Them” which was coincidentally donated to the orphanage. 

Vurbank joins the Police Force and began his role as a detective, sniffing out every clue that has the Jomom Killer’s sense. He noticed that every clue he got is a tape that contains a diss track made by the Jomom Killer dissing Vurbank. Enraged by this, his mind causes him to have split personalities. Vurb focuses on music while Ank continues searching for the killer to this day.

Chapter 3: The Newgrounds Podcast

While Vurb was doing a rap battle against the Chicken from Parappa the Rapper, they were suddenly interrupted by God t posing his way- crashing onto the stage. The Chicken was clucking at God and tells him that her Cock boyfriend will come and beat his ass but God menacingly glares at the Chicken bursting out her guts while her children feed on her. After being rudely disturbed by the Chicken, God tells Vurb his entire backstory that he is God’s second child and reveals to him that his purpose in life is to follow his passion for music to hopefully reshape the music culture itself.

But that’s not the only purpose God has given to him, he tells him his other purpose in life. Cancel Xinx. A user at the newly-godlike website called Newgrounds. After becoming God’s next prophet; he prepares his diss tracks and songs at Xinxinix. But before he can defeat Xinxinix, he must need followers. And thus, his Newgrounds account is born. He uploads his songs and arts and is cherished by many of his followers. After winning his love and respect from his disciples. He began his raid to the Newgrounds Podcast. 

He and his disciples began to harass Xinxinix by saying “CRINGE” and going so far as to plan an invasion of the entire Newgrounds Podcast and Newgrounds itself. But has always ended in a stalemate but soon, one day, he will reach his goal entrusted by God himself. 

Chapter 4: Ted

Ted was a former Newgrounders like everyone else until when he came back, he noticed that his waifu Xinxinix was being harassed by Vurb. Seeing how the ongoing conflict leads to nowhere, plans his assassination at Vurb, he secretly manages to dox his home address and posts it to Twitter but was shortly deleted by the People trying to find any drama for their “exposed” videos until when hacking into his phone that he planned on meeting Xinxinix and PsychoGoldfish in a fair. He brings out his Barrett M82 Sniper Rifle and heads to the fair hiding on top of the Ferris Wheel.

At sunset, Vurb arrives at the fair along with his speakers, setting them all up for a rap battle. After 1 hour later, Xinxinix and PsychoGoldfish arrive along with their podcast equipment preparing to stream it live at the Newgrounds Podcast. Once everything is set up the two began their rap battle with all of their fans watching it live while PsychoGoldfish makes sure everything is ok behind-the-scenes. But when he was checking his Newgrounds account, his super-senses notice a bullet coming straight towards Vurb, he rushes to the scene and pushes Vurb from the oncoming shot. 

Even though he tried to save Vurb, the bullet manages to shot him in his neck, becoming paralyzed and unconscious. Xinxinix and PsychoGoldfish agree to save Vurb from the assassin. Xinxinix grabs his 500 S&W Magnum and rushes to where the bullet that was shot while PsychoGoldfish stays behind and aids Vurb’s wound. Xinxinix rushes to the Ferris Wheel but Ted managed to hire his top students to stop anyone who gets in his way but Xinxinix takes cover and shoots down his goons one by one and manages to hatch a ride to the Ferris Wheel.

He climbs up towards the top but Ted points his sniper at him telling him to not move a single muscle but Vurb (along with PsychoGoldfish) shoots Ted in the leg with his F2000 Assault Rifle giving Xinxinix a chance to beat him up, Xinxinix and the now-injured Ted fight in 1-to-1 hand combat with some sweet action kicks and flips; duking out one another managing Xinxinix to drop Ted’s Barrett M82 Sniper Rifle to the ocean. Fueled with betrayal by his own waifu. He snatches his 500 S&W Magnum and shoots Xinxinix at the chest falling into one of the carts of the Ferris Wheel, dying from his wounds. 

Ted begins to search around the area looking for Vurb but he was attacked from behind from a sneak attack by PsychoGoldfish and with Vurb dealing his final blow to Ted but Ted manages to block the upcoming attack and starts to 2v1 against Vurb and PsychoGoldfish revealing to them that he is The Jomom Killer, the one who killed his adopted parents which engages Vurb greatly to the point of switching to his other personality Ank blindly attacking Ted but he manages to dodge his attacks with speed and knocks PsychoGoldfish to the bottom of the Ferris Wheel; alive but unconscious. He does a falcon punch at Ank but he manages to block it but it knocked him down to the floor.

Ank switches back to Vurb and tries to pull himself up but Ted points him down at gunpoint telling him that it’s all over until a greatly wounded Xinxinix comes out of nowhere and punches Ted to the ground; finally doing the final blow. The final blow was so much for Ted that he dies from the impact and drops his phone revealing his Newgrounds account which his username was “Xinx” the name that God told Vurb to cancel to. With Ted now dead, Vurb rushes to Xinxinix but was already dying to his wounds and only has a few seconds left to live. Before he dies, Xinxinix tells Vurb that he can become the new admin of the Newgrounds Podcast. He then dies to his wounds in a heroic fashion way.

Chapter 5: Epilogue

A few weeks later, everyone is at the Newgrounds Podcast, mourning Xinxinix’s death with animations, fanarts, and Fs in the chat for him. Everyone from the Server Booster Squad, Awesome Patrons, Server Mod, Show Guests, Show Regulars, and Show Hosts says the goodbye notes to Xinxinix with the last one being Vurb-now an admin of The Newgrounds Podcast. He tells him that he was like a father to him unlike any other and promises to follow in his footsteps. 

After the mourning, he starts his new podcast called: “The Vurb Podcasts” where he shows off his latest songs and tracks. He along with his podcast and songs won numerous awards with all the titles going straight towards Vurb. Along with that, his songs have hit globally with each track being highly praised all over the world managing to reshape music culture. But now Vurb is in retirement with him starting a family of his own now living a normal and peaceful life.

@vurbank